A few months went by. Her thoughts of “I can’t believe this. At least the babies weren’t old enough to see it on television and know that their father did such a thing” kept ringing in her ears. She was thinking she had had enough. However, she didn’t want to admit failure. She had tried so hard. It seemed to her that he hadn’t tried at all. Nevertheless, whenever she saw him she fell in love and became infatuated with him all over again. He was everything she had thought she wanted in a husband. Good looking. Well-to-do family. Nice cars. Humorous. Fun loving. Lots of friends.
When he was away, she thought about why she loved him. However, those thoughts always led her to a startling truth—her life with him wasn’t that way anymore. Then she would think, he’s selfish, irresponsible, never home, always having fun without her, never paying attention to his babies, and jealous. The jealousy had always been there, from day one. At the time, it made her feel good. She liked that he didn’t want any other boys to talk to her or see her. Even when she was at school. He couldn’t see what she was doing at school, but whenever she talked to one of her high school friends that happened to be a boy, she felt guilty.
Her mind was swirling from one thought to another. She thought about leaving him for a while. However, every time she thought about that, she would ask herself, “What will I do for money? Who will take care of my babies, if I get a job? What kind of job can I get anyway? I didn’t even graduate from high school. What have I done?”
Then she would remain in her situation. Still, even after being in jail and getting his driver’s license back, he hadn’t grown up. She remembered her mother-in-law saying, “We think it will be good for you two to marry, because it will settle him down.” Well, he wasn’t settling down.
Finally, she made her decision.
After discussing it with her mother, who fully backed her, she decided to file for a divorce. She realized very quickly that in almost three years of marriage there had not been any changes that would make her want to go on with the marriage. She had two small babies, and felt that even if she divorced, she and her babies’ lives wouldn’t be any different than when she was married to him. In fact, she concluded that without having to deal with her husband’s antics, things would actually be easier.
She would not confront him and tell him about the desire for a divorce. She knew that he had the capability to make her change her mind in a heartbeat. She would just move out.
To be continued …