Chains of Conviction

“I think you’re under conviction,” one of her neighbors said to the abnormal woman the day she inquired about her neighbor’s faith. The two women sat in the living room having a neighborly chat. Abnormal woman doesn’t remember her question, but she thought that if what her neighbor said was true, well then, she must be guilty.

Subconsciously, and as time passed, she started to feel guilty as the word conviction settled into her mind. She felt as though something or someone had placed her in chains. She couldn’t figure out what or who it was, but as time passed, the chains grew tighter, making her feel even guiltier.

To be guilty and under conviction, had left a bad taste in her mouth. She wasn’t ready to think of herself in that way. Abnormal woman thought back to when she was four, five, and six years old when her grandma would unintentionally make her feel guilty for leaving cookie crumbs on the carpet. Her grandma always had freshly baked sugar cookies with cinnamon sprinkled on the top, when her family visited. The four-eyed girl would offer to eat the cookies in the kitchen, but her grandma would swipe her hand through the air as if to dismiss the offer and say, “Ach nein! (Oh no) You come with me.” Then, as the four-eyed girl walked into the living room, eating her cookie, grandma followed behind, stooping over to pick up each crumb that fell.

However, now as an adult, the abnormal woman was searching. Her thoughts wandered, “What about my church? What about my faith? We’ve been faithful, attending weekly church services. I have a church history—what about that?”

When the older man and the single mom were first married, they attended a typical United Presbyterian Church very similar to the one she attended as a kid. When her aunt and uncle moved to the new normal family’s city, they attended the same church as older man and single mom did. They all attended together in the same family tradition from years past. However, while abnormal woman’s aunt and uncle worshiped—she just sat there taking up pew space. Her aunt and uncle were true Christians. Not in the sense that they were Americans that just so happened to live in a Christian nation, no—it was because they each had a personal relationship with Christ.

To be continued…




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